DREAMS

I live in a small village. I’m scared to leave the house after nine in the evening. I cross the street if I see someone. I’m scared to walk the streets where I grew up. Light, life and movement comfort me. As a kid the worst part about sleepless nights were the silence, knowing that everyone but me were sleeping. 

I want to live in a city. I’ve known this since I was a kid and slept on the couch in my aunt’s apartment in the city. I was laying awake but I didn’t feel alone, I heard cars, voices and I could see the street lights through the curtain. I find comfort in noises and light, knowing that I’m not alone in the world.

I’m a restless person, a small village isn’t for me. 

LIVING OUT OF CASES

First of all, I would like to excuse my absence. My computer went crazy and I lost Photoshop and as a perfectionist it’s not easy to blog without Photoshop. Also, I’ve been busy looking for a job and been away for a few short trips with my family so there hasn’t been much time for me to fix the Photoshop problem.

This weekend was no exception. Thursday morning I and my dad went on a four and a half hour long train ride to Stockholm to meet his sister, her husband and my two little cousins. Friday morning I took the train to my best friend to spend the rest of the weekend with her. We have only known each other a year but it sure feels like a lifetime. It’s weird to think about, that we didn’t physically meet until last fall, that it’s only been a short bit over a year since we started talking and that we’ve only been able to actually meet a few times since then but still she knows me better than anyone else and she’s the only one I feel that I can tell anything without being judged. We are basically the same person in two different bodies.

When you aren’t able to meet that often you don’t really feel like you have to do something special every time you meet, it really is good enough to just associate, being lazy and watch a ton of movies together. Although, Saturday evening we went into the city to meet my friend from school who just got a job and moved to Stockholm and I hadn’t seen him since graduation in June. To be honest it was quite sentimental, we used to see each other at least five days a week for three years and now we hadn’t seen each other for almost three months. I went on that four and a half hour long train ride home again with my dad and arrived home quite late yesterday.

Don’t get me wrong now, I love my family but I’m not one of those who like to come home after being away. I don't feel homesick, I don’t miss my bed after sleeping on mattresses for weeks and I don’t miss having a place for everything after living out of a suitcase. After a night at home I’m tired of it again. I want to travel, explore, sleep on mattresses and wear my clothes wrinkled from being stuffed down a suitcase.